Lately, I've been crazily obsessed reading eBooks, mostly in Epub format since finding excellent yet low price books in here are challenging enough. So instead of spending my holiday to hang out, I burry myself with books. I accomplished reading four books within few weeks. And one of them was...
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher.
Not to say that other books I've read wasn't special, but this particular book is the most easily related for me even if for some people this book isn't their cup of tea. I had a Hannah Baker phase once. Not as horrible as hers, but what I felt that time was similar. Here are my reasons why I love this book.
A first time is important. We, girls especially, want to make it special and unforgettable. Hannah's first kiss was just as she imagined, but went far away from her expectation. Then there the snowball started rolling. For me, it was my first with-a-boy relationship. It was done out of force, ended by me, pleading to end it and him threatened me. I was in seventh grade, new and all alone. It lasted only a half day, but the memory stayed with me forever. Of course he never admitted he threatened to punch me to my friends. To Hannah and I, it wasn't special but profoundly unforgettable. It left us, traumatized.
Then there were Peeking Tom for Hannah, and a scary stalker for me. Hannah couldn't stop Tyler from doing it, but luckily I could avoid the stalker.
Betrayal. What comes to your mind when you hear that particular word? I instantly thought of my childhood when I hear the word. It was only a small matter. But for a four year old girl, it was a tremendous change. I never got real close friends with girls probably because of that one event. I saw my friends, they were 4 years older than me, playing with someone new about my age. I was quiet, shy and like an onion, you have to peel the skins to get to really know my fun side. Unlike with me, they really had fun playing together. They don't need me, I've been replaced, I thought. I went back inside, watch TV and never coming out to play with them anymore.
Then on ninth grade, the friends I've hanged out for three years left too. There was one problem with a friend of mine. My dearly beloved friend of mine made them pick a side, whether to choose me or her. They picked her. For three years of so called friendship knowing each other, instead of being neutral and help us to solve the problem, they picked a side. I was OK stuck doing their English homework or any assignment they had asked me to do, and when I needed them the most, they freakin' took a freakin' side. or I fell then rise with a vengeance. Thank you very much for the understanding. I understand what Hannah felt when Jessica or Courtney gave her a push to the edge. To the edge of giving up.
I told my dad about how great this book is, but I didn't tell him why, and his reaction was dissapointing. Suicide is a stupid thing to do, and passing the tapes to the people who treated her wrong were merely vengeance and for self satisfaction sake, but all that time Hannah didn't have someone to talk to. She didn't have faith to anyone anymore so that's why Hannah pushed Clay away. She's the one who decided to not open up with anyone, therefore Hannah's death was simply herself to blame. Don't you get it? She hated herself for that. It's been an agony to her in the school and to acknowledge that. I guess that's why she passed the tapes. So there were other people to blame. And for the last time in her life, she decided she wanted to be heard and believed in her words she uttered in those tapes. Because her words and the rumors were 360 degrees different. I understand, Hannah.
It is so funny how a fictional character can be so real. I sometimes imagine there's Hannah Baker somewhere, but with a different name. Jay Asher, you did a good job.
The tapes Hannah sent weren't a waste. Hannah was giving them a lesson. Be careful and think through before doing something to others, because the impacts may vary, good or bad. Even if you did something wrong, at the very least, you did try to do good.
Jay Asher captured the teenager life essence perfectly.
I just love the ending. It proved that the tapes weren't a waste! To Clay Jensen, Hannah left a good impact. Clay didn't fear no more of reaching to people despite of their reputation. He reached to Skye. Hannah may lost hope for living, but by that, she gave Clay the guts to save Skye.
Truth is, saving Hannah should be simple. Talk about it and understand her. Be there for her. But for those whose in Hannah's position, just let it all out. Open up to someone. Have hope to trust a person once more. We're human, we make mistakes so don't expect too much. Them, listening is already a good thing.
And true! Guidance counsellors in high school sucks. That wasn't your fault for talking to Mr. Porter, Hannah. You tried to open up, but not the right person.
There was one thing missing in the book. One thing Hannah didn't try to talk to, one thing that could save Hannah -- God. When you believe in one, in your deepest fall, you prayed to Him and you'll feel as if the burden in your shoulders slowly lifted away. All you need is faith, Hannah. God give you the challenge not beyond your capability to face it. But then, life is full of choices as well. Sadly, you chose death on your own terms.
What I truly learn is, the savior for your life is yourself. You of all people should know that. There's a prince charming to save you, and that is yourself. Please don't take it the wrong way. The people who surrounds you are important as well. They will help you too, if you want to be helped.
So? How could you not love the book? It already gives me tons of life lessons. The sweet despair of life. How tough life is, but how you outgrew the life and become the stronger you, the mature you. I am still learning to be one, so hopefully I'll get something right.
Mostly I told stories about me in this review. So sorry to bore you with my life. The reason? Well, what I know is this:
We are what we love.
In the book you love, you could find bits of yourself in it. The things we love define who we are. And this is a part of who I was, that made me who I am now.
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